There are definitely some problems inherent with social media. However, like everything in life, social media use is all about balance. Most of the perceived problems of social media that were mentioned seem to be extreme views. I’d like to address a few of them using both my personal experience and the experiences of Paul Miller, who left the Internet for a year in hopes of finding his ‘best self.’
Let’s begin with the idea that social media pulls our focus away from daily living and being present in the moment. There is truth to this, as you can see when you look around a restaurant and see many of the diners looking at their phones rather than talking to each other. You might also see it or have experienced it at the dinner table, in the car, or anytime you find yourself drawn to your phone, whether to check Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, while you are spending time with others. It can be very frustrating to feel like your companion is paying more attention to what’s going on online instead of you. Paul Miller said that his sister felt exactly that way when she tried to have a conversation with him, which is part of what prompted him to step away from the Internet.
On the other hand, social media can be used to help you find resources for meditation, breathing, or even words of wisdom to contemplate as you begin your day. I personally subscribe to positive quotes and yoga-related feeds to help ground me a little bit. I have the Calm app on my phone for daily meditations and each meditation ends with a quote for the day. When I feel like the quote is exceptionally useful, I share it with friends via Facebook.
It is easy to get caught up in constantly checking on social media to see what is going on. It can become addictive, which is another very real, rather than just a perceived, problem. However, it is in our control how we use social media, just like any substance. Some people struggle more with addiction than others and we should all try to be cognizant of how much we are using social media and limit it appropriately, just like we might limit sweets, alcohol, or time in front of the television. If you are concerned about spending too much time on social media, you can set limits on your phone for specific social apps, take the apps off your phone to make them harder to access, or make an effort to change your habits just as you might if you wanted to eat less sweets.
As to the argument that ‘social media causes grief and anxiety when we compare our lives to those of our social acquaintances online,’ I argue that our brain is wired for comparison with or without the Internet. I am currently taking the popular Yale University class entitled, “The Science of Well-Being,” and in it, Laurie Santos discusses how our minds do not think in absolutes, but rather in terms of relatives. Illusions such as the Ebbinghaus illusion prove this point. Although that particular illusion applies to vision, the course goes on to discuss how research shows that this also applies to our happiness as well. For example, you may be more or less happy with the same salary increase depending on whether your coworkers received the same, less, or more. There are things you can do to help limit this tendency though. The extreme one is to get off of social media, but that is not a realistic solution for many of us. So instead, consider focusing on the good in your own life, be grateful for what you have, and learn to appreciate other’s good fortune. There is plenty of good fortune to go around. I personally prefer to see the happy things that people post rather than see them airing all of their dirty laundry and problems on the Internet.
Paul Miller thought that he wasted too much time on social media so he gave up the Internet for a year to see what would happen. I found his year with no Internet fascinating. I really expected, as he did, that it would be an amazing self-improvement activity, but he pointed out some findings, which once you think about them, seem obvious. For example, even though, at first, he was able to use his time for more productive endeavors, he eventually found other time-wasters like offline video games. Isn’t it human nature to follow the path of least resistance? I know, personally, that as much as I enjoy painting and drawing, I can usually find something pointless and easier to do instead. This isn’t the fault of social media and does not mean that social media is always a waste of time.
I think Paul’s biggest discovery was the good that comes from social media. He found that social media brought him closer to family and friends. Just like Paul, I have a large family across the country and social media helps me stay in touch with them. I am even closer to some of my cousins now, than when I lived nearby. Social media can provide a support system from far away. My father recently passed, and my sister and I in Colorado felt removed from the rest of the family in Pennsylvania. However, Facebook has helped us feel the love of our family and friends from afar. We even received some photos via Facebook Messenger from our friends in Scotland of our families visiting. It would’ve taken so long to print copies of these photos and send them via airmail halfway across the world, but instead, we were connected in moments across Scotland, Pennsylvania, and Colorado, reminiscing about the wonderful times our families have shared over the years.
This is the true power and the good that you can find within social media. So again, as with just about everything in life, there is the good and the bad, too much and too little. You just need to find your balance.
Miller, Paul. (2013, May 1). I’m still here: back online after a year without the internet. The Verge. Available at: https://www.theverge.com/2013/5/1/4279674/im-still-here-back-online-after-a-year-without-the-internet [Accessed 7 Sept. 2019]
Santos, Laurie. The Science of Well-being by Yale University. Available at: https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being/home/welcome [Accessed June-Sept. 2019]