#social media – Social Media and Digital Cultures

Empathy & Social Media

Social media can be a double-edged sword. They have advantages and disadvantages and the key to a healthy social media life is empathy, self-control, and moderation.

This week we have seen some of the frightful consequences of the misuse of social media. We saw how a tweet can destroy a life. Reference was made to “5 problems with social media”, we saw the results of disconnecting from the internet for a whole year, and finally, we laughed a bit and reflected on the trend of using #hashtagsforeverything in the video #Hashtag. Without a doubt, social networks have transformed our lives and society.

I think Paul Miller would say that it is not social media’s fault, but of how we use them and what our intentions are. When he disconnected, he thought his problems would end; he would modify his habits and be a productive member of society. However, this was not the result he obtained. He continued procrastinating, wasting his time and alienating himself even more from his friends and family. His conclusion: social media is not the problem. What happens in social media is only a reflection of who we are individually and collectively.

Also this week, in another class, we were reading about empathy. The concept of empathy is a bit problematic to define. It takes a little imagination and willingness to be empathetic and “put yourself in someone else’s shoes” or better yet, “become the other” to understand him/her. Although we read about empathy under the “Design Thinking” framework, I believe that for our holistic development it must also relate to our overall psyche and lifestyle.

Empathy leads us to make decisions with others in mind. Many of the problems that social media have generated are due to self-centeredness and lack of empathy.

Source: Six Habits of Highly Empathic People, By Roman Krznaric on Friday September 9th, 2016

How do you solve some of the problems generated by social media with empathy?

Problem One: Shaming, defamation, cyberbullying.

Before insulting and acting cruelly against someone with whom we disagree or who has offended us, one must act with caution. What consequences can a violent reaction bring to me and the other person? It is better to respond than to react. Reacting is an impulsive act; Responding requires thinking before acting.

Problem Two: Wasting time and being unproductive.

Instead of numbing the brain scrolling down forever through Facebook or Instagram, you can take advantage of time with others. Have a conversation with your partner, a friend or your mom. Take advantage of leisure time to be productive: bake a cake for your family, play with your children, volunteer at an NGO. Do something that helps others.

Problem Three: Fear of Missing Out (FOMO).

Be happy for the success of others. Envy produces nothing positive; it hurts you and your relationship with others. Rejoice because others are having great experiences and sharing them with you.

Problem Four: Privacy issues.

You don’t need to share every idea, thought, emotion in the cyberspace. As the saying goes: We are masters of our thoughts and slave to our words. There is no need to oversharing, especially when you can affect or offend others for your opinions.

In conclusion, I think the biggest lessons are first, to be empathic with others when it comes to social networks and other public forums and, second, to think before posting. Life is too short to not live in harmony with oneself and those around us, even in the cyberspace.

FOMO

Fear of missing out. Social media didn’t create this issue, classmates have been left off of birthday party invitation lists for years. Social media highlights the issue with posts and pictures showing the cake, the ponies, and the guests at the birthday party. People only post the highlight reel, no one posts their child dropped out of college or someone got suspended, again. Social media users need to realize they aren’t seeing the entire picture, as Abe Lincoln once said….

I think Paul Miller may disagree with the responses from the 30 – Day Writing Challenge on Facebook (see below). When he unplugged from the internet for a year, he was isolated, missed parties, lost human interaction. He learned to use it in moderation, take the good with the bad.

Response A:

Social Media is a scary thing. We’ve allowed out innermost thoughts and feelings to bleed out like we all have Turrets syndrome. The universality of it is wonderful, but also causes more stressed from around the world. It destroys relationships, and creates triggers. Worst of all, we’re all addicted to it.

Response B:

–It has pulled our focus away from daily living, from enjoying the small details of life when your quiet with your thoughts and being mindful.

–It wastes precious time and energy.

–It has artificially made what other people think and vague social acceptance too important.

–It causes grief and anxiety then we compare the lives of our social acquaintances to our own life.

–It does not begin to represent the whole picture of a persons life. It only represents a small controlled, socially acceptable glimpse.

Unplugging from the internet for a year wouldn’t be realistic for the majority of adults. Punishing a teenager by taking their phone is akin to solitary confinement. Social networking shouldn’t replace human interactions, it should complement them. Use it wisely, make plans, keep in touch with friends and family, BUT put it away the you are with friends and family. Be present. Listen to friends when they say you are on a lot, track your screen time and put it away when you reach your maximum. Social media can help you be more social but unfortunately it can also be an unsocial media.

Sharing is caring or is it?

What are your thoughts about the issues of safety, security, and privacy? What are your concerns? What are your ideas for addressing them in ways that still allow you to take advantage of the value of social networking and media?

While driving home alone from a conference in Keystone this summer I called my husband and told him I wasn’t feeing well. I was using Waze to more to monitor the traffic than for directions. I didn’t realize Waze was monitoring me as well. When I hung up with my husband an ad popped up on Waze, an ad for the Urgent Care five minutes from my home, the Urgent Care we always use, I was an hour away. It was then that I realized the lack of privacy I had driving in my own car alone. Was it helpful information? Yes. Did I make an appointment? Yes. It has made me consider things I say in private may not actually be in private.

I have social media, I am not so concerned with privacy that I will delete all my accounts and live without a digital footprint, it doesn’t seem reasonable in this technological age. I do not share my phone number or mother’s maiden name or my social security number, I thought not sharing those things kept me safe.

Everyone must have a personal social level they are comfortable sharing, online and in person. I will spill my guts about a bad day to a coworker who casually asks “how was your day?” I cannot stop myself from saying where I bought something and how much I saved if someone compliments an outfit. Then there are people who don’t overshare, people who would answer “fine, thanks, and you?” to my coworker’s question, people who respond to a compliment with a simple thank you. Our online identities are similar, people either feel free in sharing some personal information, vacation plans, check ins at restaurants, blogs, and YouTube videos, or they have social media accounts but rarely post, or they stay away from social media entirely.

The most important thing is people need to know how their information is being used, it is obviously being used from the targeted ads that appear on Facebook after you google “all inclusive Mexican vacations.” Some people may find that creepy, some may find it helpful. According to Panda mediacenter, “While many users think they are harmlessly adding information to their profiles, this information can be used for targeted ads, sold to marketers, or worse, sold into the black market. Facebook has even admitted to using 98 different data points to target advertisements.” My comfort level, like most people, lands somewhere in between the extremes. I want social media to keep in touch with family and friends, I also want to protect my privacy.

I have created alternate Facebook and InstaGram accounts, one with my professional name that is easy for my students’ families to find and one with my maiden name for personal use. I have had a Gmail address for about 14 years, I have used that email for all things, I am also notoriously bad at deleting email. Since this is near the end of my blog post and I’m sure no one reads anything on the internet, I will confess to having, at this point, over 28,000 unread emails cluttering up the email box. I know, it is a problem. As soon as I post this I will create a new email address and hide the old one, if only I can figure out those privacy settings.

Resources:

(2018, June 26). How Much Does Social Media Know About You – Panda Security. Retrieved from https://www.pandasecurity.com/mediacenter/social-media/how-much-does-social-media-know-about-you/

Spiders, the web, and me

Flowering plant with a spiderweb attached.

I am pretty phobic about spiders, so when I saw one hanging out (literally) in the shower tonight as I started to step in, it occurred to me that my uphill battle against spiders in the house has some parallels to my efforts to maintain decent barriers within my internet and social media usage. (I would say I’m slightly less paranoid about the internet tracking) First, autumn seems to be on its way, and the spiders are either moving in to the house, or just being more visible. We’ve dealt with a minimum of a dozen spiders in the last week. I think spiders are marvelous outside the house, which I consider to be their proper setting. I enjoy watching them scramble around in our garden space, eating pests and keeping their numbers in check. They have amazing physical characteristics and an ability to go almost anywhere. Various internet providers, online services, and social networks can also be extremely useful and have a similar, more metaphorical ability to be everywhere. I recognize that my house will never be spider-free, and my network interactions will never be surveillance-free. On the other hand, I’m willing to go to some effort to minimize both spiders and data surrender. We try to minimize obvious cracks and food sources for arachnids in the house, and online, I pay attention to what information I’m willing to share and how I access various sites.

As I read through the various resources about what gets shared, stored, and tracked, I was edified to see that there wasn’t a ton of information that was entirely new to me. I use minimal profiles and background on my social media that I use for truly social purposes, like Facebook. For my more professional usage, I focus on more narrow, work-oriented background and contacts. I use multiple email addresses, including an essentially throw-away option for signing up for online services and the occasional online purchase, which I also try to minimize. I started using DuckDuckGo as my search engine a few years ago, and prefer the interface and results lists to Google. I clear history and cookies with some regularity, and the fact that my job as a librarian has me using multiple different computers in the course of a day or week, and searching for a wide variety of topics and products well outside my actual interests feels like a bit of extra camouflage as well.

There are certainly levels of privacy protection that I’m not ready to tackle yet and don’t really feel a need to utilize. I’ve been tempted to play with Tor browsing on occasion, but I am not really interested in the attention that can also arise from that usage or that of some of the more anonymous email providers. I’m also not ready to go to a progression of burner phones or drop boxes that start to feel more like I’m playing a role in a spy thriller than managing communication. Since so many industries and jobs expect some form of an internet presence, I’d rather manage and curate one that sends a message I want rather than be completely invisible to potential colleagues and employers.